Download Free Apps & Games @ PHONEKY.com
Download Free Apps & Games @ PHONEKY.com
Subject: ROFL ONE LINERS
Replies: 16 Views: 1726
frodob18 8.09.10 - 07:59am
Please add your one liners and make people smile. 1. Going to a church does not make you a christian anymore than going to Mcdonalds makes you a hamburger. 2. What is a sheep without legs called? a cloud. 3. What is a camel with 3humps called? Humphreys. 4. What does a fish say when it runs into a wall? DAM!!! 5. What do cows do for entertainment? They rent moovies? 6. Which bar would a one legged waitress work? IHop 7. If cows could laugh,would milk come out of their nose? 8. Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Because they have big fingers. 9. *
xtash 28.11.10 - 03:40pm
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking. *
xtash 28.11.10 - 03:40pm
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip. *
xtash 28.11.10 - 03:41pm
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes *
xtash 28.11.10 - 03:41pm
Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me alone. *
xtash 28.11.10 - 03:42pm
Error, no keyboard. Press F1 to continue *
xtash 28.11.10 - 03:43pm
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted.
Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
*
xtash 28.11.10 - 03:45pm
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
Friends may come and go, but enemies tend to accumulate.
Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your mouth is moving.
Genius does what it must, talent does what it can, and you had best do what you're told. *
xtash 28.11.10 - 03:46pm
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. *
xtash 28.11.10 - 03:47pm
Good judgment comes from bad experience and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
Honk if you love peace and quiet.
*
xtash 28.11.10 - 03:48pm
I am not a vegetarian because I love animals. I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame you.
I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe. *
xtash 28.11.10 - 03:51pm
I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
I need someone really bad. Are you really bad?
I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
I tried sniffing c*ke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose.
I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
I used to have a handle on life, and then it broke.
I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
I won't rise to the occasion, but I'll slide over to it.
*
texan09 11.12.10 - 10:50am
* A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.* A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
*
texan09 11.12.10 - 10:52am
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.Women somehow deteriorate during the night. *
texan09 11.12.10 - 10:53am
* A woman has the last word in any argument.Anything a man says after that, is the beginning of a new argument. *
frodob18 22.12.10 - 12:24pm
Even if u r on the right track you will get run over if u just sit there *
texan09 19.01.11 - 01:20pm
a guy caught drivin drunk says 2 de police officer... i swear 2 drunk im not god *
